Bad Habits

"But now you must get rid of all such things - anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive language from your lips." (Colossians 3:8 NRSV)

Oh boy, this is a really tough scripture.  I know that I have wanted to hurt others just as they have hurt me or those I love.  I have said things that have hurt other people's reputations.  I have flown into a quick, nasty rage and acted in an ugly, hurtful way.  I have allowed anger to escalate inside me to the point that it comes out as unkind, critical or judgmental behavior.  And at times all sorts of abusive and filthy language can come from my lips far too quickly.

I am not proud of these behaviors but I know I have to be gut honest if I want to change and become more loving.  I can admit that I am ashamed of my behaviors when they are not kind or loving and I don't like the way I sin so easily.  But I need to openly confess what I do wrong, accept responsibility for my bad choices, ask for forgiveness and then forgive myself as God has forgiven me so that I can accept the graces God is bestowing on me so that I can truly change my behavior.

I want to be loving.  I want to be patient.  I want to be compassionate and understanding.  I want to be calm and speak words that are life-giving and helpful.  I believe that with God's grace I can be all these things but change will not be easy.  Satan will present me with ample opportunities to stumble especially now that I am actively working on becoming more loving.  I know I will need to be patient with myself and when in the midst of temptation pray and seek direction from the Holy Spirit.  It will be a hard road but with God all things are possible.  I will change.